Thoughts on Veterans' Day and the 17th Amendment

So, I realize that I'm a little past due on this one. What with Veteran's day being on Wednesday and me not writing this until now. I've really been thinking a lot about our Veterans and all that they do for us since Stephanie and I went to the Vietnam Memorial back in July. As we walked past those walls, filled with the names of so many young lives lost, tears filled my eyes. Steph asked me if I was okay. Just standing there and seeing how much was sacrificed made me at once grateful and outraged. There was a man leading a tour of some sort there, he was talking about the brave men and women who fought for our nation in that conflict and he said "freedom isn't free." Freedom isn't free. That's a concept I agree with wholeheartedly. But it seemed so wrong in the context of the Vietnam War Memorial.

What does "freedom isn't free" have to do with that fight? Decades removed from the social, cultural, and political sentiment of that time, it's impossible for me to understand how we can say that so many valuable lives were lost in the cause of freedom. Whose freedom? Maybe I just don't understand.

Freedom isn't free. I study and learn of the Revolutionary War and it's impact and effect on so many lives. The sacrifice not only of lives lost but lives dedicated to the concept of a better nation. I think of the struggles of the Civil War, and lives lost to hold our nation and its ideals together, and free a race from the oppression of slavery. I think of the World Wars and the fight against tyranny and despotism. But when it comes to Vietnam and, to a lesser extent Korea, I have a harder time understanding how that sacrifice is for freedom.

Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I always admired the Anti-nephi-lehies more than there children in the Army of Helaman. John McCain says that his favorite book is Hemingway's "For Whom the Bell Tolls" and also lists among his favorite books Erich Maria Remarque's classic World War I novel "All Quiet on the Western Front." Despite my disagreements with many of the policies he said he supported, I maintained hope that he wasn't the warhawk old codger he seemed because of that. Those two books are powerful documents about the fraternity soldiers feel, and of the great tragedy it is when men in power send them to death for trinkets. I love those books, and had intended to re-read them before making this post. I've been thinking about this post since July, but with Veteran's day it seemed appropriate. The great lesson of "All Quiet on the Western Front" for me is this, valiant young men fight and die in battles of powerful men who never learn what true sacrifice is.

I apologize for meandering like this. I suppose you may not get my point. My point is this - First, thank you veterans for your willingness to serve, for your devotion to the founding principles of this country, and for the sacrifices you have made. I am not cut out for what you do, but I thank you every day for doing it. And though I may disagree with some of you on certain issues, I respect you for all you do for this great country. Second, do not take your duties lightly, you leaders of men. Mr. President, you and our past presidents have a great obligation to value and respect the lives of your brothers who have volunteered to serve this country. There are times when freedom needs to be defended, I may admire their parents more but I love the Sons of Helaman who gave their all to protect their homes and family. Please, don't waste another precious drop of blood on a conflict that you aren't certain is for a good cause. Not for politics, but for family, for country, for true principles - not forced upon foreign nations. Freedom isn't free, and it is also implicit in the idea of freedom that people must choose liberty for themselves. Please, don't ever waste our nation's valiant sons on another conflict for political or fiscal gain. Life is far too precious.

Now, on to another topic. I hope I don't seem disrespectful in addressing this issue in a post meant primarily to honor our veterans. I hope they take my comments in that sense. Those veterans I know personally are great men. I want to discuss now our Constitution and the respect we give to the founding fathers and their ideas.

First, there is a significant legal community that seeks a complete originalist interpretation of the constitution. To them I say this, remember that the original intent of our Constitution is that of compromise between many competing political ideologies. That is part of why it is such a miraculous document. Remember further that as lauded as it is (and rightfully so), that original document included certain inherently flawed concepts, including the idea that some people were not people at all. Luckily, the constitution had a system for amendment, and the 14th Amendment helped to end that tyranny.

Today I would like to talk about what is, in my personal opinion, the worst amendment to our constitution. The 17th amendment completely changed our system of politics in ways that are mostly unhealthy. When the founders ratified the constitution they sought to compromise between various strongly held political beliefs. The two ideologies in greatest conflict were those of the federalists and anti-federalists. You see, our nation was founded on the idea of a confederation of States - each State sovereign to itself and yet United under one central government. Hence our name, The United States of America.

After the success of the Revolutionary War the former British colonies were united under the Articles of Confederation, in which each individual state's sovereignty was valued far more than the central government, and as such the central government was impotent. Seeing the need for a union that would last, important leaders gathered at the Constitutional Convention to ratify a document that would recognize each state's sovereignty while giving the federal government enough power to be effective.

Those who fought for states' rights argued that the central government needed to be weaker, others argued that there was great need for the federal government to be supreme and far more powerful. In order to overcome the conflict of opinion, compromise was reached. There would be two legislative houses, a bicameral system of legislation. This division of legislative houses was incredibly significant at the time. The House of Representatives was elected by the people, representing the interests of people in their district and being up for re-election every second year. This system was put in place to insure that the representatives be truly representative of their constituents - this is the representative democracy that gives our form of government its name, Democratic Republic.

If we have a representative democracy in our Democratic Republic, where is the Republic part? That is the higher house of congress, the Senate. As envisioned by our founding fathers who struggled to make a system of balances that not only checked the powers of different branches of the federal government against one another, but also checked the federal government against each sovereign state's government. As part of this envisioned proceeding they decided that the senate would consist of two people from every state being elected for terms of six years. They would stagger the elections so that only one senator would be up for election at any one time. And these senators, these men who were elected to represent their states were to be chosen, not by voice of the people but rather by voice of the state legislature.

Then came the 17th amendment, people decided that they didn't want their duly elected legislatures of their home states to do the electing, but rather the people of the state. This eliminated the republican portion of our government, making that higher house answer directly to the people rather than to their states. Why is this bad? The one legislative body that was supposed to be representative of the sovereign states, the legislative body that serves longer because it is meant to be immune from the whimsy of a less informed public, just became a sort of super house of representatives. The senate no longer represents a state's interests, it represents the common voters interests.

The founding fathers recognized that the average voter does not have time to fully understand and research the positions of everybody running for high office. They also understood that the most important elections, for everybody, are those elections closest to home. As such, they put in place a system that emphasized knowing and voting for the officers closest to you, who would have to answer to you - representatives in your local district going to the house of representatives and state legislators going to the statehouse from your precinct. By making senators a statewide, popularly elected body we de-emphasized the importance of electing our state legislators, that used to be how we had a say in who went to the U.S. Senate. And we weakened our system of State and Federal governance. The individual, sovereign states became less sovereign, corruption was pushed further along the chain, and high money/high power donors gained an overly powerful influence on those running for higher office.

It used to be that there wasn't much value in buying off a senator, because the legislature back home would be aware of that and shut it down. You could buy off the state legislatures, sure, but that's more people who are closer to the voters, and then our right to vote was more powerful, the corruption was closer to us and so we had more say. The corruption got pushed further down the line so we don't see it as much, and so we have less say in controlling it. I hate the 17th amendment.

Okay, sorry - just wanted to share that. My thoughts were a little scattered. Oh, and I suppose I should probably also share that I proposed on Sunday November 8th. She said yes. We're getting married on December 15th in Utah, the reception will be the night before. If you'd like an announcement/invitation please send me your address. Contact me for more details. Some people might be mad if I made a whole blogpost without mentioning that.

Thematically Speaking

I know. I've had a brief hiatus from blogging. I apologize. It may have been somewhat more than brief. July 10? Nothing has happened since then! Good news for anybody who actually follow my blog though - I almost never write anything directly about what has been happening in my life, so you don't really miss out on anything - I just meander and share thoughts. A few quick notes before I start off on my latest diatribe. First off, I'm alive and well, working hard with school, work, and two jobs (I've been doing some work for a family law practice here in Richmond). I have a lot of ideas I've been yearning to get down, so you lucky few who read this will get to have a taste of those. So, upcoming blog posts: First, this week is a week of birth, the past few weeks have been weeks of rebirth - I'll be writing another post on birth and what it means to me in the wake of these past weeks and especially the past few days: my beautiful niece Honor was born to my amazing little sister Amanda and her loving husband, Craig. My Grandfather just celebrated another year of life. My dear older brother just had his birthday. These are some of the most important people in my life. I have to recognize them, hopefully I'll get my thoughts out soon. Later this week.
Next, I've given two talks in church since my last post, I think they're pretty good and hopefully you'll enjoy reading them. They'll be edited and posted sometime soon as well: one on obedience and one on education. Also: an analysis of Where the Wild Things Are - I love film and want to try out an in-depth analysis, in conformity with my post today. Upcoming: Freedom isn't Free and what that means - I've got two books to read before I make that post, but I've been thinking about it since July. Hopefully my thoughts will be of some worth.

Now, a quick post. When I was in my high school freshman English class, my teacher, Jasper Warembourg, told us all that up until that time most of us had only ever read books for plot, and that he was going to teach us how to read for theme. I don't even know whether I did learn the difference then, but I know now that learning that difference was one of the most important lessons I've learned in my life. Plot is important, but theme is essential. That is the difference between a true classic and cultural fads. I read the first book of the Twilight series, and I have some serious qualms about its structure, style, and substance. But recently I realized that the real reason that I find little value in that series is that it is based almost entirely on plot. There is no richness of theme, no deeper meaning behind the stories to be told. I find that Harry Potter is a series of books that is also not extremely well written, and I also have serious issues with it's style and substance. Rowling uses many of the crutches that Mayer does, but she is a superior author in her form. Despite that, it is the richness of theme that saves Rowling. Albeit a typical thematic choice, the Harry Potter explores the nature of right and wrong, politics, and the challenges of growing into maturity. Perhaps I underestimate Mayer's work - it seems that, thematically speaking, she may be addressing adolescence and growth into adulthood in her own way. Perhaps it is something that is more thematically rich to those who have experienced female adolescence, I cannot understand its appeal.
Excuse that digression, I mean it only as an illustration. My favorite works are often blunt in their themes - C.S. Lewis was straight allegorical, and Hugo used blunt tools as well. But despite the bluntness of the theme, its profundity and richness has touched my heart. Truly great works, whether they be in film, music, literature, or whatever medium, have levels of depth and meaning to them. So it is in our lives, each moment can have greater meaning than we recognize, and to reach greatness, I believe, we must be able to recognize the depth of meaning in our own lives. I have heard it said that when you have the proper spirit, even the worst sermon will touch your soul. I agree, but I also feel that there also exists a part in the sermon. A person who sees the themes in the world, a person who follows the spirit, will recognize profound truths in even the smallest and simplest things. But this is not to say that the same person, when guided by the spirit, cannot find far greater things in that which is truly prfound....

Hopefully my musings have some sense to them. I apologize if they don't. In closing, just in case I fail to write as soon as I intend - Cy, Grandpa, and Honor.... Happy Birthday! Thank you so much for loving and supporting me, Cy and Grandpa. You've both been such wonderful influences in my life. And Honor, you have an amazing mother and father - and aunts and uncles aplenty who will spoil you (as well as your grandparents!!) welcome to the world. I cannot wait to meet and hold you, I love you already.

My Fathers

I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to express how grateful I am for the fathers in my life. I hope you will indulge me, as I introduce my topic today by telling you about my fathers. Many of you know my grandfather, and I hope those of you that do can recognize the spiritual giant that he is. For the past 3 years, I have lived with him and my grandmother, and that opportunity has been one of the greatest of my life. During this time he has been my father away from home. He is one of the kindest, most generous, and most loving people I have ever known, and a patriarch in every sense of the word. I hope some day that I might be able to say that I lived a life as good as his. [I have a picture of he and my grandmother next to my bed, they’re on a cruise in Alaska, and he is comforting her from the cold… that picture is a goal for me in life, I want to emulate my grandpa in my life.]

Then there’s my stepfather, Scott. A drinking, smoking, foul-mouthed catholic [and former pig farmer and long-haul truck driver from outside of Chicago] who met a single LDS mother of 5 and changed his life. He came into my mother’s life when she was truly struggling, and was willing to help her raise 5 children between the ages of 8 and 15. At the same time he gave up smoking and drinking and began to attend church with us despite the differences in our beliefs. With time, he took the discussions, joined the church, and was sealed to my mother. I can only hope he knows how much I love him, I don’t know where me and my siblings would be without him. And for being a support to my mother during one of the most difficult times of her life, I will be eternally grateful to him.

Which brings me to my father… those of you who have heard me talk of my dad have probably heard me say that he is my ultimate example, of both how and how not to live. I love my dad more than words can fully convey. And I will use his story, and mine, as a narrative of a much larger and more important topic today. When I was 10 years old, I thought my parents had the perfect marriage, I thought my dad (who served as our ward’s Elder’s quorum president) would be our next bishop, my dad was my hero. Suffice it to say, on my tenth birthday I was not prepared for the year that would come. Over the following year my parents would separate and then divorce, and my dad would be excommunicated from the church. My father, my hero, had fallen.

Brothers and sisters, although my fathers have always been there for me I am aware that not all are so lucky. [Unfortunately, because of circumstance, many have lost their fathers prematurely, and even more unfortunately, some fathers neglect their duty towards their children. Although that has never been the case for me, I have known what it is like to be in the only worthy priesthood holder in my home, as a deacon. I remember on more than one occasion getting myself up and walking to church when nobody else would. I remember finding for the first time in my life just how important it is that I not only had fathers here on earth, but that I had a heavenly father.]

It is the first article of our faith that “we believe in God, the eternal Father,” OUR eternal Father. And the best-known hymn in the church expresses that same, simple truth that far too often goes under-appreciated. “I am a child of God, and he has sent me here.” [As we have recently celebrated our mothers, and as today we celebrate our fathers, I urge you to remember the truth taught in that hymn, that he has given us our earthly home, and our beloved parents.] Despite all the emphasis given to this most important of doctrines, I am saddened along with Elder Holland who noted in 2003 that “some in the contemporary world suffer from a distressing misconception of (God)… there is a tendency to feel distant from the Father, even estranged from Him, if they believe in Him at all. And if they do believe, many moderns say they might feel comfortable in the arms of Jesus, but they are uneasy contemplating the stern encounter of God.” Jeffrey R. Holland – the Grandeur of God, October 2003

Joseph Smith taught that "it is the first principle of the gospel to know for a certainty the character of God.” He said “I want you all to know Him and to be familiar with Him.” History of the Church 6:305 and he admonished us to have "a correct idea of his . . . perfections, and attributes…the excellency of [His] character." Lectures on Faith (38, 42)

Brothers and sisters, the primary character of God is that of a Father. Of all the titles given to God, the supreme Governor of the universe, perhaps Abba (Daddy) is the most appropriate. When we address one another as Brother or Sister, we are expressing a most profound truth. We are all, in a very real sense, children of the same loving father.

[My dad grew up on a dairy farm in Lindon. He was one of ten children. He gained the ability to work hard and a lot of toughness. He was a successful high school basketball and football player. In spite of his size he made all-state on the offensive line for Pleasant Grove High School. Since he was young, he would get up early to go fishing by himself, and every year he eagerly awaits hunting season. If there is such a thing as a cowboy, my dad fits the description – when he talks about his mission he often says that one day he was out birthing calves in a field and the next he was in a suit and tie, and trying to understand the accents of the Irish people he had been told spoke English. There is no place where my dad is more comfortable than up in the mountains. ]

[For as long as I can remember my dad has worked as either a maintenance man or a janitor, taking on as many side jobs as he can to pay the bills. He has cleaned pools, dug trenches, milked cows, coached basketball and fixed just about anything on the side just to keep his head above water. He works almost 80 hrs/week, despite health problems and despite the fact that both his knees have lost their cartilage and need to be replaced. Life is not easy for him. And] on more than one occasion, while looking in my eyes he has said to me – “I may not have a lot in this life, but I have 6 wonderful children who have grown to be amazing people, despite their father. If it weren’t for you kids, I think I might just go up in the mountains and live.” Please believe me when I say that if anybody could and would do it, it’s my dad. If I’m sure of anything in this life I am sure that my dad loves me more than I can understand – I know that the love of a father towards his children is truly great.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16 One of the best known scriptures in Christendom again conveys the same simple message I hope to convey to you today. God is the Father of our spirits and he loves us more than we can understand. He sent his only begotten son, our elder brother to this earth because he loves us, because he is our father.


When Enoch spoke to God and saw him cry, he asked, "How is it that thou canst weep? . . . Thou art just [and] merciful and kind forever; . . . Peace . . . is the habitation of thy throne; and mercy shall go before thy face and have no end; how is it thou canst weep?" And Our Father responded:
"Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands. . . . I gave unto them . . . [a] commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood. . . . Wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?" Moses 7:29–33, 37.

I don’t know if there is a greater example of God’s nature as our father than that found in Moses 7. He who is above all things weeps over us, because he so loves us. He is our Father.

When I was nine I went to my parents bedroom and asked them, “what if the church isn’t true? what if Joseph Smith just made it up?” My dad looked at me and rather than correct my doubt or panic about my question just asked, “What if he did just make it up, Isaac? What then?” I believe that moment was when I first started gaining a testimony of this work for myself. I stopped an thought, and I began to recognize that I didn’t understand a world where the gospel wasn’t true. That day I started on the path toward conversion. In the ensuing years, despite all that has happened my dad has been a great influence on my testimony. This excommunicated member, who has been the victim of vicious rumors, and who has lost most of the friends that he had in the church has never denied his testimony. Because of my father here on earth I have come to know my Eternal Father. And because of my Eternal Father I know the truth of this gospel. Bear Testimony.

A Weekend of Independence

I had an eventful 4th of July weekend. I had the day off work on Friday and Stephanie didn't have any appointments so we got up bright and early and drove up to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. I'll have to get some of the pictures she took while we were there but it was an amazing day. We went through the National Soldiers' Cemetery where Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address, dedicating the cemetery to those who fought at the Battle of Gettysburg. It was a pretty amazing place to be. Afterwards we walked along Cemetery Ridge, where Pickett's Charge occurred. And, without having planned so, we were there on the afternoon of July 3rd, the same date and time when the charge occurred.
Gettysburg is a beautiful little town, filled with rolling hills, trees, and wildflowers, if it weren't for the numerous monuments and plaques placed in memory of the events that took place, it might be hard to believe that such a bloody battle occurred there over 3 days in July of 1863.
As we drove home to Richmond, we decided to cut west and go the long, scenic way around so that we could avoid Washington, D.C. traffic. Interstate 81 is a beautiful peace of highway that cuts right through the Shenandoah Valley and it was really nice to drive down it and past the Blue Ridge Mountains. Made me miss the mountains back home. On the way back we decided to stop and get some dinner and ended up in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia. While we didn't visit any of the historical parts there, we did have a nice dinner and get to see this peaceful little town that was once the site of Brown's Raid. It was also interesting to learn that Lewis and Clark went to Harpers Ferry to get their weapons before beginning their westward trek.
Now, for the sad part of my Friday. After having driven more than 500 miles I dropped Stephanie off at her house and headed home. I was ready for bed and not even paying attention anymore, I guess, because apparently I coasted downhill on a road in a 35 mph zone and let my car get going a little too fast. A police officer pulled me over and wrote me a ticket. So, now I get to go to traffic court in late August. Fun. Luckily I haven't had any speeding tickets before this so I should be able to get traffic school and not have it count against me. At least, I'm told the Chesterfield County judge is a big fan of traffic school.
Saturday morning I woke up early to go to our ward's pancake breakfast and enjoyed a good meal. Before we all ate, Susie Levin, the bishop's wife, gave a short program talking about the importance of the holiday we were celebrating and the faith of the founding fathers of our nation. It was really quite good. Then, after breakfast a few crazy people (we ended up being a group of 17, I think) decided to drive up to the Metro station just south of Washington, D.C. and ride into the city to watch fireworks and do some tourism beforehand. I've been in Richmond, only a couple of hours from our nation's capitol, for nearly a year now and this was the first time I really went into the city. Crazy. I loved it!
We walked around and saw the White House, got some lunch, went through the American History Museum, then took a hike over to the Jefferson Memorial where we set up place to watch the fireworks. While we waited for the show to start, some of us went and spent some time looking at the Jefferson Memorial and walking over to the FDR Memorial, which is awesome! It was a lot of fun, and the fireflies were out too, so it made it really neat. Finally, it was time for the fireworks to begin. Coming from a small town, I'm not used to big fireworks displays and I should say that D.C. has a pretty impressive show, especially from our viewpoint across the reflecting pool and seeing the Washington Monument. It was amazing.
After all that we had to leave the city. Trying to get 17 of us to stick together as we walked over to the metro station and then all getting on the same train was insane. And the ride back to the Springfield station where we had parked was very crowded, we got to be very comfortable in one another's close proximity. But it was lots of fun and totally worth it.
Watching the grand finale of the firework display, I paused to think of the significance of our celebrating our independence with such an array. They let off so many fireworks, so quickly, that much of the display is muted by the noise and the smoke, and you can see clearly how the fireworks represent the artillery and violent explosions of the war that was fought for our independence. Touring the battlefields and seeing the cannons and positions of the Civil War and reading Lincoln's short dedication to the soldiers
who fought to maintain our nation's unity, caused me to pause and think of how great the sacrifice has been to get us where we're at. I think I've always appreciated the blessings of living here, but I don't know that I've always properly understood the sacrifice that has gone into providing them. One of my favorite books is All Quiet on the Western front by Erich Maria Remarque, which tells the tale of soldiers on the German side of the First World War and their realization of the loss on both sides of that war. Standing in Gettysburg and then driving back to Richmond, capitol of the Confederacy, caused me to pause and to think about the sacrifice of war on both sides of conflict. How fortunate we are for those whose lives have been lost. May we always remember the cost of war.

Family

So. I posted about my life earlier today. I didn't like it, so don't expect much more of it. I don't know why, I feel awkward talking about what's going on in my life in this forum, it's weird considering how open I generally am. Father's Day just passed. Last year I got to speak in church and honor the fathers in my life. I think tomorrow I'll post that old talk. I've been thinking about family a lot lately, about the nature of family and how it relates to everything in our lives. I'm going to tell you a little bit more about that. But first, I'm an uncle! I suppose I should announce that here. Now, to introduce you to my niece, Michelle, my future niece, Honor, and my two honorable nephews, Max and Connor. And let's not forget Teesa. Hope nobody minds me stealing some pictures! :)

Michelle Ann Adams was born June 18, 2009. She is the first daughter of my older brother Cy and his beautiful wife Brittany. I can't wait until I can go home and meet her. She's lucky to have such wonderful parents.

Then I have Honor Celeste Hadfield coming. My younger sister Amanda and her husband, Craig are excited to be parents and according to Amanda's blog there are 121 days left until she joins us. I can't wait to meet her too.
So far all I can show you is an ultrasound image. But I'm sure she'll be super cute. I've also been super fortunate to be close friends with some amazing people who have recently had children. Jimmy Salmans and his wife Hilary welcomed Maxwell into the world this March. I was able to visit with them and to meet Max the last time I traveled home. Returning from my grandmother's funeral, I was still dressed in my suit, and he decided to spit up. That's just a hazard that comes with kids, so I didn't mind at all. But Jimmy and Hilary were very sorry and informed me that it was Max's biggest spit up to date! So glad I could be there for the moment. He even managed to launch everything enough that he got a little past me and to my friend Rachel who was next to me. :)
















L to R: Maxwell Salmans, Connor Swart

Healthy boy there. And on Saturday my good friend Johnathan and his wife Jannene welcomed their son Connor to the world. I was able to talk with Johnathan last night and he, like Jimmy, pronounced me an honorary uncle.

Finally, I may never know her, but when I talk about being an uncle I have to remember my beautiful little sister's gift to a loving family. If I remember right, it was February 2, 2005 when Teesa was born. Amanda's Adia Faith.
I remember driving with my father to be in Logan when she was born. I remember getting to meet her before she was adopted. I remember the opportunity I had to talk about my brothers and sisters with my dad, to talk about the joys of family and the importance of the little moments in life. Lately, I've been thinking about my family a great deal, and about the nature of family. The family is ordained of God, I have no doubt of that. By and through it he provides us with our closest friends and our greatest support. And in experiencing the highs and the lows of the family relationship, we come to know God better. As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once noted, of all God's titles the one he prefers is Father.
Joseph Smith once said that it is the first principle of the gospel to know the true nature of God. The true nature of God is as our Father, loving, caring, providing for our needs and watching over us, guiding us. And as our father he watches our foibles, our errors, our mistakes. He sees us hurt, and he mourns for us. He is our father, and I believe that to become a parent is to begin to understand how our Father in Heaven sees us. Congratulations to all of the new parents in my life. Thank you for allowing me to be an uncle! I cannot wait until I can join your ranks as parents, remember that you are being entrusted with the care of God's children. Love them and care for them. Thank you for offering me a place in their lives. I'm so excited for all of you! And for so many other friends and family who are new parents or who have recently had newborns. Congratulations all.

An Update on Life

I figure that I should get back in the habit of blogging sometime soon, and the only way to start up again is to start posting again! So, unfortunately y'all are going to have to deal with reading up on what I've been up to. Which is probably what most people had expected from this blog when it started... oh well, I forget the purposes of my projects at times.

So, let's fill you in on my status. A few weeks ago I started working with the Genworth Financial Agency Virginia Office, which services people who are interested in Longterm Care Insurance in the Virginia and Washington, D.C. area. I'm currently the Administrative Assitant pro tempore, as the previous Admin Assistant changed position to become a field agent. I'm filling in while others are interviewed for the permanent position, but in the fall I will begin as the Marketing Intern, so that will be exciting.

About the same time that I started working at Genworth, I also started dating a young lady named Stephanie, so far so good on that front. She's a photographer and on Saturday we went to the Canal Walk in downtown Richmond so that she could practice some lighting techniques and improve her mad photography skills. Then Saturday night my friend Daniel tried to get 100 people into the theater to watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Not a great movie, but it was fun to gather with everybody.

Other than dating and work, I've tried to keep busy by reviewing and preparing for the upcoming term of school and catching up on lots of reading. My latest book obsession is studying the Presidents of the United States (not the band) so I've been collecting books written by each president. So far I've only gone as far back as Franklin Roosevelt with my collection (in reverse order) and I've decided that I need to read what I've got at the moment before I invest in the memoirs of Herbert Hoover, which are actually quite extensive. I've also been reading a lot of books on the Supreme Court, which is fascinating. I love the history of the court and while no book has been as good as The Brethren by Bob Woodward and Scott Armstrong, I'm learning a lot.

I guess that's the update for now. I'm teaching the Institute of Religion class this Tuesday and the topic is Chastity and Moral Cleanliness, so I may update you on how that goes.

Primary Colors

Those of you who read me regularly, know that I don't write on my blog regularly. At least not anymore. Perhaps I'll improve on that. I might blog about my new employment, or what happened over Memorial day weekend, and other exciting happenings in my life. But today, today I voted in the Democratic Gubernatorial Primary, and so I want to share some political thoughts again. Everybody who hates me talking about politics, altogether say "yay!"

To begin, I should state that I live in a largely Republican precinct, and that it is just a primary for the gubernatorial race. There is only one candidate for governor from the Republican party this year so there was no primary. But it's an open primary, hence independents like myself and Republicans can vote in the primary. I voted today at 5:05 PM. The polls opened at 6:00 AM. I was the 27th person to vote in my precinct today. In 11 hours, they had fewer than 30 people vote. This makes me sad.

So many people have died so that we have the right to vote in Democratic elections, so many people have fought, marched, and worked consistently so that we all can vote. And while I have abstained from voting at times because I felt uneducated about the candidates and feel strongly that our right to vote is accompanied by an obligation to vote knowledgeably, I am shocked that so few people made their way to the polls today. I know people don't vote in primaries as much as in general elections. I know that people don't vote in gubernatorial and senatorial elections as often as presidential elections, that they vote even less in local elections. But it makes me sad. Why do we get so passionate about presidential elections and forget to vote for the people who have so much more control over our immediate lives? Why don't people educate themselves on all of the primary candidates and vote so that they can help determine the candidates in the general election? So often I hear others lament that they feel as though they're voting for the lesser of two evils! And so many of them failed to vote in the primary, where they could have chosen a non-evil... I'm sad, vote. Please, vote. And vote knowledgeably, it doesn't take that long to look into the candidates, learn the distinctions between them, and vote for the person who can best represent you.

While I'm on the topic, I want to say something about the last presidential election a little bit. Many of you know that I love President Obama, that I donated and worked for his campaign, and that I believe he has the potential to be the greatest president I will see in my lifetime. With that being said, I have something to say about other supporters of President Obama. He ran with a campaign slogan of "Yes, We Can!" a slogan garnered from his concession speech after the New Hampshire Primary returns showed him losing to Hillary Clinton. If you haven't heard the speech, I reccommend you watch it on youtube. It's one of his best. So that became the slogan, it was on bumper stickers. Good times, it's an inspiring message, if we work together we can change the world and our nation. Listen to the speech, that's the message. November 7, 2008 Barack Obama wins the presidential election, November 8, 2008 bumper stickers appear on cars saying "Yes, We did!"

I shake my head everytime I see that. The message was that together, working as communities, we can change and improve our world. On November 7 the majority of voting Americans voted for a man who believes in that premise and wants to enact a type of that change. That's all. Yes, We Can isn't a slogan saying "Yes, we can elect a black man president" or "yes, we can elect a guy with a funny name president" or even "yes, we can elect a democrat president." Yes We Can is a slogan saying that we can improve our world, that by working together we can enact real, positive change. Yes We Did what? Ugh. Yes, we can, but we haven't done yet. Why doesn't everybody realize that? No one man can do everything that needs to be done. Just getting the man you want to lead you elected accomplished something, but not everything. Nobody should say "Yes, we did."

Christ, The Helmsman

Hey everybody, I know it's been a long time since I've updated this. Sorry about that, hopefully I'll get a little bit better. This past weekend I was asked to speak at Stake Conference. Some have expressed interest in reading the talk I gave, so the closest thing I have follows. As always, this is an approximation of what I said based on the talk I brought with me and what I can remember changing when I gave the talk - I think it's fairly close to the talk I actually gave. Here you go:

Imagine yourself out on a small boat at sea. The night falls and a storm comes, water beings pounded against you, the boat tosses on the waves. You fear capsizing, thunder roars as you being taking on water. How do you react, what do you feel?
Now, imagine yourself at home, lying in bed. It’s a clear cool night and just as you’re about to fall asleep for the night you hear shouts in the street. Your friends and neighbors are being beaten, and forced from their homes. They’re coming for you as well. Your house is being torn down, and all you possess is being tossed into the street. You try to reason with your oppressors but all they know is hate for you and your people. Screams of murder fill the night. And even when you finally find a new place to live, a little north, you feel safer – but you have no home, and it’s the winter. You’ve lost most of your possessions. How do you react? What do you feel?

Is it peace?

“And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” (Mark 4:39) “Let your hearts be comforted… for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.”

When others faced these challenges, the Savior came to them and gave those words of comfort. He taught them peace. "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27). All of us will know intimately both joy and sorrow in our lives. Yet the Savior's message in times of sorrows has consistently been that of peace, of his peace. When Alma, the younger faced harrowing so great he thought he would perish, he remembered the Savior of whom his father had taught and received joy so great as to exceed his sorrow. Jacob, the brother of Nephi described his life by saying "the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto a dream, we being a lonesome and a solemn people, wanderers, castout from Jerusalem, born in tribulation, in a wilderness, and hated of our bretheren, which caused wars and contentions; wherefore we did mourn out our days." (Jacob 7:26). When Joseph Smith faced despair as he was imprisoned and his people faced discrimination he called out " O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:1) In response he was told "thou art not yet as Job" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:10) and "The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?" (Doctrine and Covenants 122:8). When Christ tells us that he offers us not the peace of the world, but his peace, we should look at His life. This man who knew little more than scourn throughout his life, he was betrayed by one of his closest friends, spit upon, mocked, tortured, and killed. The peace he spoke of was an inner peace, a comfort that comes when we entrust our lives in his hands.
This past week I had a small experience with trial and trusting my life to be led by my Savior. Last Thursday morning I received a phone call from my Dad. He and I are close, and we talk fairly often, but I cannot recall the last time I talked to him on a Thursday morning... He had called to inform me that my grandmother had passed away the night before. When I asked how he was doing I could hear sorrow in his voice as he said "you're never ready to lose your mother." He told me that he would let me know about the funeral details and I said I wished I could make it, but I had finals the next week and probably wouldn't. After I got off the phone with him, and spent a few moments recalling my grandmother, I felt a strong impression and desire to go home. I needed to say goodbye, family is far more important than school. I flew home to watch as my grandfather said goodbye to the woman who had been his closest friend from the time they were 13 years old. I spoke with and embraced each of the 10 children, my father, my aunts, and my uncles, who were now without their mother. As I looked at the frail body that had been her vessel in this life, and watched our family mourn, I felt peace. And as I spoke with my grandfather, and my aunts and uncles I could tell how much it meant that I was there, where I belonged. Among the greatest blessings I received for being where I belonged happened the morning of the funeral. For the first time I can recall in my adult life, I heard my father pray. You would have to know a great deal more of my life and my past to understand what that moment meant, but it may have been the greatest blessing I received so far this year.

It may be death or illness, poverty or heart break. But, all men, no matter their station in life, will pass through sorrow. Whatever struggles we have in life, however minor they may seem can shake us. The storms of life will come upon us, they will toss us, and we may fear capsizing. Yet, if we have Christ at our head, all will be well.

Jesus, Savior, Pilot me
Over life’s tempestuous sea;
As a mother stills her child,
Thou canst hush the ocean wild;
Boist’rous waves obey thy will
When thou say’st to them, “Be Still!”
Wondrous Sov’reign of the sea
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me
(Hymn 104 – Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me)

Christ calls unto all of us. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Christ is at the helm of this church, piloting us through life’s stormy seas. He is at the helm of our lives, if we will only let him have the wheel. When his disciples were on that storm-tossed boat, they asked “what manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?” (Mark 4:41). He is our Savior, the manner of man who can command the wind and waters that rage on in the storms of our lives, and they will obey him. Whatever travails we may pass through, they will be for our good, and if we trust in him, he will stop the storm before we perish. Who would you rather have at the head of your lives than He who is master of earth, wind, and sea? He who can calm and command the storms in our lives.
He lives. I know that he lives. He has comforted me through those few trials I have faced so far, he will guide me through all trials that may come. Because of this Restored Gospel, I know him more intimately and personally. He has given men on this earth his authority that they may aid him as he guides us through life’s rocky shoals. Trust him, and he will lead you home to that God who loves you. I testify of this. In the name of Jesus Christ, my pilot, Amen.

I Understand

What would you do? What could you possibly do if you were faced with something that for so long seemed impossible? There's a difference between what we desire and what we should desire. Fortunately for must of us we never have to face that reality. We are never confronted with a package of all that we should desire, but don't. But what if you were... what if everything you should desire should suddenly appear in your life? What if it were wrapped in so much you truly do desire? What would you do?

One Christmas in the mission we received a special surprise from our families, everybody wrote us letters telling us how much they loved and appreciated us. I remember being so touched by all the thoughts expressed by my parents, my brothers, and my sisters. Sadly, I cannot find those letters today. But I remember that in my father's letter he told a story that I loved. It's a Christmas story about two sons, one an unfailing optimist, the other a persisting pessimist. The parents of these sons did an experiment for Christmas in an attempt to curb the extreme behavior of those sons. Usually, I focus on the story of the optimist, a little boy who entered his room Christmas morning to find a pile of horse manure and rather than despair began digging. When his parents asked him why he was so happy when his Christmas gift was so terrible, he smiled and replied "with all this manure there has to be a pony in here somewhere!" I'll talk about that little boy more at some point. But what of the other son? His room was filled full of marvelous toys, and yet he sat in the middle of the room crying, terrified that he would break them. Terrified.

Life is not so simple as the stories. We, each of us, have a little bit of each son within us. At different times, different aspects may become apparent. Sometimes, we find our new toys and at first we are enamored with them. But what happens when we realize that they are capable of breaking, that we must be careful how we play with them? In John Steinbeck's short tale "Of Mice and Men," Lennie doesn't want to hurt anything, but when he sees something he likes he just wants to have it. What then, of that thing you don't expect to find - what then, of all that you should desire when it suddenly appears to you? You rush to it, you embrace it and with the same fervor of Lennie you try to make it our own. But in that fervor, you hurt it. Unlike Lennie, you recognize that you've damaged this beautiful thing and you can't stand to hurt it more. You're afraid not only of hurting it, but hurting yourself. How could you live with yourself if you destroyed that marvelous thing?

You step back, you decide that you need to be more careful. But still, it represents so much... Still it is there tempting you, not with carnality or sin, but with the potential of heaven. There, before you, is the possibility of joy. But you're not ready for it, who is? In life's journey we all wander from the path at times. You've just regained your footing, you're just starting back on the path... the treasure is supposed to be at the end of the path, not here, not now! You're not ready for this. You're not even sure if this is the path you want to be on... And yet it beckons to you, the possibility inherent in all that you should desire. Lamentably, that is all it is - everything you should desire, not everything you do desire. Perhaps one day you will, and then what a fool if you leave it alone! But for now... for now it is just potential and you're not sure if you want that potential. It would take work, it would take changes in all your vast web of belief.... And you might break it and eliminate the possibility that somebody more capable, somebody better prepared might love that thing. You don't want to break any of your toys, but this one? This toy you know you should love.... the thought of destroying it is too much. Besides, are you ready for those possibilities? It was always just something in future, it was always just something that would happen when you were ready and the time was right... You aren't ready yet, the time cannot possibly be right. Ever cautious you reject this thing. Ever cautious. You might break it, it might break you. What if it, like so much else in life, fails you? What if it isn't what it's supposed to be... could you handle that? You read your Kafka and your Flaubert. All is vanity - apparent exceptions are just mirages. It was never real. Maybe there was joy there, but isn't safer never to know... Isn't it safer to live outside the fire?

In his story "The Great Divorce," C.S. Lewis tells of a dream he once had. In this dream he saw a vision of heaven and hell. He tells this parable, he finds this guide and at the end of the dream the angelic guide tells him that it is only a vision, that he could not handle the fullness of what heaven and hell are, but that it is as close as he can comprehend. So it is with me and this. Perhaps I see only the shadow, but I think I understand. Beauty, awareness, caution. If only caution could be thrown to the wind! But it is inherent in you... I have so far thrown caution to the wind. I always shall. And that has made all the difference.

Loving your fellow man

The last week was really hard on me, one of the most difficult weeks of my life. I guess life is just a struggle sometimes. Luckily, I was able to pause and reflect upon how little my struggles amount to compared to others.
My bishop out here recently wrote a new book with a holocaust survivor, entitled "The Gazebo" which is the account of Alexander Lebenstein who was willing to share his story with Bishop Levin. He came and gave a fireside Sunday night and told us his story. The message I heard was one about the futility of vacuous nature of hatred.
I've been thinking lately about what the worst word in the english language is. I realized on Sunday night that the worst words that can be spoken by the human tongue are those that are accompanied and arise out of hate. Slurs. So often hate we feel is mindless, reasonless. So often we neglect reason and fall into line with others around us. It makes me sad.
Other news - Saturday I was an auctioneer for a service auction. I highly enjoy being an auctioneer. I think I'll try it again sometime! And yesterday we had a comedy/variety show for family home evening. I read a book by Mo Willems. I love Mo Willems.

To My Friends and Family, 2008 Edition

Every year since I have returned home from my mission, I have written about the year that passed when the new year arrived. I'm a little late this year, I hope you will forgive me. 2008 was busy and brought a lot of change in my life. Last January I had just graduated from BYU and got the results of my LSAT back. This January I'm in law school at the University of Richmond, living 2000 miles away from almost everybody I knew before I moved out here.
As with previous years I have experienced love and loss. It's sad to say that I can barely remember where I was a year ago. I had a fun summer, filled with concerts and friends. But I didn't date much because I was moving out here. I got to finish out my calling as co-chair of the activities committee and plan some fun stuff. But, honestly, I don't think I made the most out of my last few months in Pleasant Grove. In August it was time to leave my grandparents and some of my closest friends. That was hard. I still miss so many of my close friends from college and the Mt. Mahogany ward, but it was time to move on.
One of the great opportunities I had as I moved out to Richmond was driving across the country with my mother. She told me once that sometimes she thinks I just tolerate her. That just made me realize how little I do to show her how much I appreciate and love her. Spending that week with my mom was one of the best moments of my year. I hope she knows how much she means to me, my mother is one of the most amazing people in the world. I don't think I tell her that enough.
I guess this isn't going to go in chronological order, because talking about my Mum makes me think of my Dad. In the past several months I've had pause to reflect on how much he really means to me as I've realized how fragile life is. Dad was rushed to the hospital twice as teh year wore down... Tomorrow is Dad's birthday, and I wish I had the means to give him a gigantic gift and to let him know how much I love him. Unfortunately, I can mostly just tell him I love him. But as I think about it, to be able to hear somebody who really means it say those words, well, that's one of the most meaningful things in the world, isn't it? The more I live life the more I realize how much the simple things mean. How much goes into being able to truly say that you love another person.
The day I arrived in Richmond I got a phone call from my dear friend Erin, one of our friends from our ward in Pleasant Grove had died in a car accident. I would be remiss if I didn't pause for a moment to remember Kaleo and the influence he had on my life. Funny how loss affects us. Watching as my close friends deal with the loss of their loved ones, remembering my close friends and family who have passed, and recognizing how quickly those who mean the most to me can go, has made me appreciate ever more the value of the life I have and the importance of making the most of the time I have.
Since moving here I think the thing I have to say the least about is school. It's good, I like it. I need to work harder at it. Other than that I don't think there's much to say. I've made so many great friends here. I've grown in the gospel and been able to see many others grow. I guess I don't have much else to say, 2008 was a great year.