On Dating

Sorry I haven't posted anything on here for a while. A lot of you have probably stopped reading my blog with my infrequent writing as of late. I apologize profusely. I also apologize because those of you who for whatever reason enjoy reading my blog will probably get a bit of overload today. This will be the first post I make today and I'm going to postdate it by an hour or so, that way it will appear at the top of the page and explain why you're getting 3-5 blog posts at the same time. I haven't blogged in a while, I just want to catch everybody up on all of my thoughts. First, to something I know a lot of you care about, and something that I will touch upon lightly as a matter of relative topics in my other posts today, my dating life.

I'm sure many of you would like to know how I'm doing when it comes to dating. At least, if the number of people who asked me to send wedding invitations as they said goodbye to me in Utah is any indication, people want to know about that. Well, let me say that I haven't dated very much since arriving here, you've probably read the post about the Sadie Hawkins dance and seen the pictures of that date. Since then I've been on two dates, both of which were great and with great girls. Last week I was able to take a beautiful young lady to a Sheryl Crow concert after our stake temple trip. My roommate had access to free tickets to the show and offered them to me that Friday and I said I could probably find a use for them. We had lots of fun and it was fortunate that I gave her something to do once we got back from the temple, because she had leant her car keys to a friend and was locked out of her car until that friend returned.

As for non-last-minute dating, I did ask out one woman in my ward a few weeks ago. Those of you who know me probably know that I tend to see what I like and then go after it. This has its advantages and disadvantages. One of the disadvantages is that I tend to ignore other things around me, which is unfortunate. In this case, I've tended to ignore other women in my ward - there are many attractive girls here, but this young lady caught my eye the first time I saw her. Unfortunately for me, she is very busy with school and life in general, so I was only able to get an hour of her time two Saturdays ago. I enjoyed every minute of that hour and asked her if I might be able to borrow another hour of her time in the future. Hopefully I'll be able to get a second date with her soon once she returns home.

Other than that, not much has happened with dating. But I thought I'd update you all the same. Hope you read through the rest of the thoughts I've posted below - that way you can catch up on my last couple of weeks and some amazing experiences I've had, and that way I can share with you some things that have been on my mind (no worries, no politics).

Family

It's not a question I'm asked much anymore, I haven't been asked it much since I really decided what the answer was, as a matter of fact, but it is a question that I think about quite a bit. That question is "what do you want to be when you grow up?" I don't know when I decided what my answer was, but it's been a while. The answer is quite simply, I want to be a father and a husband. I hate that when people get to know one another they often identify others by their career. I hope and pray that my career does not define who I am, I would much rather be known as a good father and a good husband than as a good lawyer in the future. As important as my career will be, I hope it always takes a back seat to family.

A good friend of mine lost her mother to cancer yesterday. I wish I knew the proper words to say to console her in a time of what I can only imagine is immense grief. Sometimes those who matter most to us are not here as long as we would like them to be. There probably are no words of proper comfort at this time for her. I can only imagine that she always hoped that her mother would be able to see her get married, and to be a grandma... and those dreams are gone now.

On Saturday I got a phone call from my older brother, informing me that my Dad was in the hospital. He had eaten something, they still don't know what, that he had a terrible allergic reaction to. Fortunately my step-sister was near and able to get him to the medical clinic back home before his tongue and throat swelled to a point where he was unable to breathe. I must admit that I thought what it would be like if I lost my Dad. The pain that I feel as I imagine that possibility is great, and so as I think of my friend and her loss I cannot imagine how much she must be struggling. Fortunately, she is a strong woman who is probably better able to deal with loss than I.

I am incredibly fortunate to have the knowledge that I do have. I trust that all will be well in the end, even if I do lose those who are closest to me. Those of you who have heard me talk about my dad know how much I love him, how much I would miss his presence in my life. But I know that he won't be absent from my life, even after his own life here has ended. As I think of my friend and her loss, I know that she has that same understanding. Her mother will be there to see her married and to meet her grandchildren - she just won't be able to see her.

My family means everything to me, and as I decided to move out here the thought that I might miss out on some great events in their lives was one of the more difficult things to think about. I might become an uncle while I was out here, and that would mean I would probably miss out on seeing and getting to know my brothers' and sisters' children until they're a little bit older. I began to cry with joy as I found out that I am going to be an uncle again. And they're going to be great parents! I only wish I could be there... if I can't be a father yet, at least I get to be an uncle.

A trip to Chesapeake

This weekend was a wild and crazy one. Me and my friends Daniel, Mike, and Jeremy decided to go to a regional activity that was about two hours away in Chesapeake, in an area not too far from the North Carolina border. Well, the activity started at 7:00 on Saturday, we weren't worried about being a little bit late, so we decided to leave here at 6:00. Well, Mike never makes things easy and decided not to show up at Daniel's house, where we were meeting, until about 7:30. Finally, we were on our way, but as we were loading into my car we could hear air deflating from a tire. Lucky for me, it was Mike's tire.... we decided that we would all jump in my car and go, then fix the tire when we got home.

Well, the dance/pumpkin carving party was actually a lot of fun. One of the most entertaining parts was that Daniel and I decided that Mike was going to have to get 2 phone numbers from the girls out there or else we would not allow him into my car for the ride home. This was because Mike wouldn't do anything but sit on the sidelines at first and because when we were riding out there he kept complaining and saying that the party better be good. Well, he got his phone numbers and as we were leaving the party we asked how it went. Apparently it went well, some girls invited him (and subsequently all of us) to stay and watch a movie with them. Sadly, it was already midnight and we had two hours to drive. Well, we asked if he was going to take advantage of his successes that night and he said that he wasn't. "Those girls are too young" he said. Well, funny thing - Mike is a young man straight off his mission. There shouldn't be a "too young" for him unless they're still in high school so Daniel and I bugged him. Apparently, he had a bad experience dating an 18 year old in the first few months he was home from the mission. Well, we wanted to know who she was and he wouldn't tell us. So we shoved him in my trunk for the ride home.

Well, we actually just shoved him in long enough to take him back to the party and embarass him. Except that he used the emergency latch in the trunk and jumped out of my moving car. Luckily he didn't get hurt! Anyhow, it was a lot of fun and we finally made it back home and remembered that we had a tire to change. The nuts got a little stuck on his tire and we struggled to get all of them loose - and as Daniel worked on one he kind of fell backward and broke Mike's sideview mirror, I guess that's what he gets for not doing it himself... It was really funny (not badly broken). Well, after a nice struggle to take care of all that we headed home for the night.

Sadly, that is not the end of the story. You see, Mike had a talk to give in church on Sunday and apparently he gained a lot of insight from his experiences with me and Daniel. He decided to share a few stories about getting water poured on him and how Daniel and I changed his tire and broke his mirror. He broke Jeremy's heart by neglecting to honor him with stories about our adventures, but I think he apologized for that. Oh, and he also shared with all of us that the donut that replaced his flat tire, it went flat too! So, that was my weekend this week. Here's a picture of me, Daniel, and Mike at last night's family home evening. (Daniel is in the middle, Mike on the right).

Australia, Temple, Prophets

So, I should have let you all know about this last week, but I'm a hoser and don't do that kind of thing. Anyhow, last weekend was a great weekend. The stakes in our area had planned a large stake temple day for the 17th, including a special meeting in the priesthood room of the D.C. temple with the temple presidency, and our ward had procured a private screening of the Joseph Smith movie that is shown at the visitor's center as well as a conference room for a short fireside from our institute director, Brother Janson. The ward hired two buses for the day and bused most of us to the temple for this opportunity. I got to spend a lot of quality time with some of my new friends out here, reliving the old high school bus ride experience, and laughing as we got a little bit lost on our way home. As for the temple, the temple president had to be at a different meeting (I'll get to that in a second) so the counselors and their wives spoke to four stakes full of endowed members in the priesthood room at the top of the Washington, D.C. temple about the importance of temple work. It was a great message and an amazing experience.

As for the temple president, well... he had to be back in Richmond where many leaders from many stakes gathered for special leadership instruction. President Boyd K. Packer of the quorum of the twelve came to lead the training of stake presidents, bishops, and the temple presidency. Along with him came Elder Cook of the twelve as well as Elder Andersen of the presidency of the seventy, and Elder Causse of the first quorum of the seventy, as well as area authorities. While this training was for the leadership and so had little effect on me directly it did mean that the next day at church we were able to listen to President Packer, Elder Causse, and Elder Marriott (an area authority seventy) in our stake. To sit at a prophet's feet and listen to his words is an opportunity that should be cherished and one for which I was grateful. As an added bonus our ward had been asked to form the choir for the special meeting and we were all able to sit on the stand directly behind these great leaders.

Now, I've told you the stories of the great spiritual enrichment I was able to receive last weekend, so it's only appropriate that I end with a story about our Crocodile Dundee party. You see, we have a woman in our ward who is here from Australia to teach school for a few years. As a kind of special get to know Emily and her country party we had a Crocodile Dundee viewing and Australia appreciation party last Friday night. Well, the party was loads of fun to start with but it became especially exciting when a giant kangaroo with root beer in hand (and a root beer in hand for the joey in its pouch as well) came bounding into the room as we watched the movie, followed by an aboriginal warrior who proceeded to beat the kangaroo with his boomerang.

As you can see from the pictures, it was all quite exciting. Well, fortunately for me, John, the man with the costume, decided that he should let other people try it out. And try it out I did. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable without a kangaroo costume on again!

A Weekend with Bill and Sarah

Growing up in Pinedale, Wyoming is a unique experience in many ways. I knew most of the people in my high school graduating class since kindergarten; there was nothing remotely resembling a city for 100 miles; and some of the most beautiful sites in the world were only minutes away. I love my hometown more than I probably should and I'm incredibly grateful for the experiences I had growing up there. One of the least likely things you would expect to find in a little town somewhere lost from most of the world is contact with the most powerful people in the world. But Pinedale never had a shortage of important people nearby who somehow found out about the beauty of the Wyoming wilderness.
One of the first things I can remember was walking into the living room when my mom had left the TV on in the middle of the day and seeing President Ronald Reagan addressing a press conference. I have no idea what he was talking about, I don't even know what time of year it was... I couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 years old, our family was still living in the Bargerville area between Pinedale and Boulder, Wyoming. I can remember looking at him, though, and thinking that he was a good man. I liked him instinctively. That was my first experience with politics. Later, I remember President George H.W. Bush coming to spend some time just outside of Pinedale. My brother, Cy, would talk about the helicopters and the secret service agents and how cool they were. The President of the United States was just outside of our hometown - Pinedale wasn't the middle of nowhere, the President vacationed there!
I was in the third grade when the next presidential elections were held. At that time Ross Perot was my hero. I remember having what I thought were mature conversations about the issues of the day with my friends at school. We would discuss the race between President Bush, Governor Bill Clinton, and H. Ross Perot as though we understood what was going on. I can still remember claiming that Ross Perot would have never left the race if his family's life hadn't been threatened, and I was certain he would have been president had he stayed in the race. In fifth grade I can remember discussing President Clinton and how terrible I thought his policies were - I had no idea what his policies were, but in Wyoming, they were terrible. Well, everywhere in Wyoming except Jackson Hole.
Jackson Hole, the closest thing to civilization around Pinedale, is 77 miles northwest of Pinedale. It's not exactly close, but in Wyoming terms it definitely was close. And President Clinton loved Jackson Hole. We would here about his vacations there on a regular basis. Strangely, coming from my little town in Wyoming, I was somewhere where the important people of the world would come. And while President George W. Bush had stronger ties to Texas than to Wyoming, he picked Dick Cheney as his running mate. There was even a chance that Dick Cheney might be the speaker at my high school graduation.
I'm not sure why I'm sharing all of this about Pinedale and the Presidents, I think it's to partially explain why I enjoy politics so much, and partially to explain how excited I am to be in Virginia right now. I didn't choose where to go to law school with politics even remotely in my mind, and yet here I am in a state that's being touted as one of the most important battlegrounds on November 4. Our governor, Tim Kaine, was on the shortlist to be Senator Obama's running mate and the congressman in the congressional district where I live, Eric Cantor, was a name that was being whispered as a possible running mate for Senator McCain. I feel like I'm in the middle of something important here.
With Virginia having its current status as a battleground state, important people have been showing up, trying to get our votes. The first thing I take from this is the beauty of our electoral system. It may have many flaws, but the votes of individuals do matter and the most important people in the world have to go through the average people of the world to get there, that's democracy. The other thing I gain from this is an opportunity to listen to some of those people. Presidents may have vacationed near Pinedale, but here in Richmond the important people aren't coming for vacation, but for me and people like me. Madeline Albright spoke at the University of Richmond a few weeks ago, and I was sad to miss the opportunity to hear her. And Barack Obama was campaigning about an hour away in Newport News last weekend, again I missed out on the opportunity.
But this weekend was different, I'm on fall break and the important people were coming to Richmond. Last night a friend and I lined up blocks away from the student commons of Virginia Commonwealth University to listen to President Bill Clinton speak on the behalf of the Obama campaign. I was surprised and impressed that the event began with an opening prayer followed by the national anthem. The introducing speakers included several students and spoke highly of their candidate, barely referring to Senator McCain. President Clinton gave a good speech, highlighting the differences between the candidates, but focusing on Barack Obama, barely referring to Senator McCain other than to say that Obama's plans were better. But that's not what impressed me about the event. Rather, I was impressed by the raw charisma of the man. He spoke with total confidence and one could easily see how he had inspired others to vote for him. Then, when all was said and done, he didn't leave immediately but first went and hugged the student who had introduced him, then he went down into a crowd of supporters and shook their hands. He stayed for quite a while, just shaking peoples hands.
Today I was able to go with some other friends to a Sarah Palin rally at the Richmond International Speedway racetrack. And while I am biased, today's rally didn't have the same feeling as last night's. There were many more people there to see Sarah Palin than had been at the Clinton rally last night. This was partially because the raceway could hold a lot more people, not to disparage her popularity with many people. The traffic going to the event was terrible and we missed the beginning, so I can't comment on how it opened, but we arrived just as Governor Palin took the stage. She first introduced Hank Williams, Jr. as a special guest and as singer of the national anthem. He proceeded to sing one of the worst renditions of the national anthem I've ever heard, but that's neither here nor there. He then sang a song against the liberal media and praising McCain, which was better sung but also irrelevent. The people had come to listen to Governor Palin. Unfortunately, it was hard to see her and the sound system would cut in and out. She spoke highly of John McCain and his policies and was much more restrained in her rhetoric against Barack Obama than in many of the rallies that have been shown on tv in the past few weeks. Perhaps it was because the crowd was too big, perhaps it was because she didn't have the same aura as a former US President must have, I don't know why, but the claps seemed much weaker and the crowd far less inspired.
The most interesting part of the Palin rally, to me, was when she quoted former Pennsylvania governor, Bob Casey, Sr. Governor Casey's son is an Obama supporter and U.S. Senator, and the Casey's are a democratic family. While much has been said about Governor Casey's position as a pro-life Catholic within the democratic party, and the possibility that he was denied a speaking spot at a democratic convention because of this, the Caseys have not been Republican backers. Governor Palin quoted Governor Casey talking about how you can judge a society by how it treats its weakest members. She used this to argue that we need to treat special needs children with special care. It was the strong point of her speech, but it didn't make sense to me. She made no accusation that Barack Obama wouldn't care for special needs children, or at least I didn't hear her say anything about that. She just said that it's important how we treat the weakest in our society. I agree with her wholeheartedly on that point, which is nice because generally speaking I don't agree with her on anything. She's right about loving everybody and taking care of the weak, but politically she said nothing about herself, unless you just assume that Barack Obama and Joe Biden don't care about the weakest among us or love others.
Speaking of that point, I'm just finishing Joe Biden's book "Promises to Keep" and I have to say, I'm impressed with the man. At the vice-presidential debate I think the strongest moment was when Senator Biden shared that he knows what it's like to raise a family as a single father because his first wife and daughter passed away in a terrible accident. I think the strongest moment in the last presidential debate for Senator Obama was when he was talking about healthcare and talked about how nobody else should have to watch their mother suffer through cancer and instead of resting and seeking treatment, have to fight insurance companies so she could pay for treatment. Who are the people running for the highest offices in our country? It's a question that has been asked a lot lately - rather than just saying that you don't know - take the time and get to know them. Everybody but Sarah Palin has written at least one memoir... Whatever side of the political aisle your on - look into the men. Sarah Palin was right today, as was the man she quoted, Governor Casey, but before you assume that she and John McCain are the only ones who do care for the least among us, find out where the other people stand. I cried as I read about Joe Biden's fight to pass the violence against women act - you may not agree with the man, but he cares deeply. Anyhow, now I'm just wandering through thoughts - I'll let you go. Here's my picture for the week, you know, so you don't forget what I look like! This one is glasses free, as per Melly's request.

A Story About Pants

Here's a story about a pair of pants I bought, and where we have gone together. It's a very important story in my life... It all started when some old mission friends, Andrew and Moroni, invited me along for a trip to Park City. Andrew and his girlfriend at the time (now wife) Belem really wanted to go shopping at the outlet stores and Moroni (Maldy) and I tagged along. As we were shopping we stopped at the Calvin Klein outlet store and while we were browsing Maldy challenged me to try on a pair of their jeans. Why? Well, Moroni put it this way "they're so comfortable you'll feel like you're naked!" How could I pass up an invitation like that? So I went in the changing room and tried on a pair of Calvin Klein jeans, and you know what? They were THAT comfortable... I bought them. This will always be a fond memory for me, as it was one of the first times I got to spend a good deal of time with Belem, who is a wonderful person.

Since that time my Calvin Klein jeans have been very special to me, they made me feel like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future, and I started singing Chuck Barry songs whenever I wore them... although not always Johnny B. Goode. Sometimes I'd sing Huey Lewis and the News songs too. Crazy, huh? Me and my jeans had some good times, but sadly at one of the first activities I attended here in Richmond I was helping move a couch and as I lifted my jeans ripped. It was only a small hole, and the comfort of the 100% cotton leads to a less durable pant, so it was understandable, but still very sad. I decided I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my jeans yet, though, so I went to Target and purchased a patch for my jeans. After ironing on the patch my jeans and I had several successful outings together... sadly that would change.

On Friday, September 26, 2008 a group of friends and I loaded up in a truck and headed to Newport News, Virginia to attend a YSA dance they were having out there. When we first arrived they were having problems with the music and the men outnumbered the women by a large margin, so we went in search of food. This is irrelevant to my pants, but it's part of the story, so deal with it. After a successful outing that included calling the "waffle and steak" house right as it closed, we finished our Taco Bell and returned to the church gym where the dancing was going on. After eating much candy, the guys and I decided to hit the dance floor and show off our moves. Well, things were going well - we even had a strange little announcement of our names thing going on... when for some reason I decided to slap the floor wearing my Calvin Klein jeans.... I heard a tear and decided I should probably exit the dance floor.


Upon finding a wall to shelter my backside, which could clearly feel more of a breeze than it had moments before, I inspected the damage - I had a very large rip in my jeans this time. I probably wasn't going to save them. As the other guys in my group were building relationships of trust with young ladies who they had just met, I stood outside with my butt against the truck to not show my lack of modesty. Me and my jeans, we were breaking up - they just weren't going to be with me anymore. That is my story... I hope you enjoyed it. Here's a picture of me for the week - and a picture of my jeans!